Blessings

This is one of my favorite modern songs. Wonderfully written and wonderfully true...

Six Months Old

Six months old. SIX months old. Yesterday I was uploading pictures and videos from my camera and looking through them, and... Nathan is no longer a little baby. He is half way to a year old. That is both sad and sweet.

We are having a busy month, but all is going well. Nathan is growing and slowly putting some more meat on his bones. He is developing quite the personality! Here's the latest:

• He has started scooting. I have always kept him on a blanket when he is on the floor but lately he has been quickly scooting OFF the blanket. It's halarious.
• I have upped his soft solid food intake to twice a day. Lunchtime and dinner time. It's helping and he is getting used to it. He now eats oatmeal, thanks to a tip from my Mom (mix it with applesauce).
• His sleeping is still excellent. He goes down for the night in between 7:30-8:15 p.m. and wakes around 7:30-7:45 a.m. Along with that, he takes three naps during the day. One around 9 a.m., one around 1:30 p.m. and another around 4 p.m. However, he has a new habit of playing when I first lay him down. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's not. lol.
• When he wants something, he gets it. If he wants a toy, he will find a way to scoot towards it and he will pick it up (and put it in his mouth). He holds on great.
• He is now "talking." That means he is squealing (loudly) and saying "bababababa" over and over. Grant thinks he is saying "Dada," however, I'M convinced he is saying "bottle." I guess we'll find out one day.

Now - PIC-CHAS!

He is sooooo melt-momma's-heart cute!

In his cute little footie pjs!

Watchin' Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

Singin'!

With Marmee and aunt Cici

Family pic in revival

Mommy loooooves her little boy!

Playing on the road

With aunt Deedee

Scootin' off the blanket

Fast asleep :)

Flat worn out!!

Close to sittin' up by himself!!! (P.S. I adore this picture)

"Better lock up your daughters, people. They are gonna want me!" hehehe

Playing with his "smart phone." Yes, I got him one. Couldn't resist.

.....he luvs it

I'm SIX months old!!!!

"Yeah, I'm halfway to a year old.....don't cry, Mom."

I'm Human

I am going to be candid and honest and vulnerable today.

 

I'm tired.
 
Yeah, I know. Shocker. 

Throughout my life, I have made choices that have tagged me as naive, old fashioned, hateful, judgemental, and unrealistic. When I was a teenager and made a choice not to date or kiss, people laughed at me. Some were my friends. Some were members of my own family. When I chose to stand up against something that did not glorify God, be it the prom or certain movies or the like, my own friends made fun of me and, eventually, cut me off. My teenage years were not easy and fun. Because of the stands I took, I was the third wheel nearly everywhere. I would be in a room full of young people, but totally alone because no one truly liked me because I was just too.....much. Too different. Too extreme. I'm not going to pretend to be immortal and say that I never noticed or that it didn't phase me. It did. And it hurt. I'm human, people. I have blood running through my veins too.

It is no different today. I speak, sing, write, and blog about going against the flow. I blog about tough issues that are at war with our flesh - MY flesh. I write about doing things God's way. I challenge everyone to stand up and live like the children of God and joint heirs with Christ should live. Yes, I get loud. Yes, I am bold. But that doesn't mean that I am in any way incapable of weeping or of love.

Yes, I have loudly declared that breast cancer awareness should be about true awareness and not about sex or lust or immodesty.

Yes, I have taken a stand against Harry Potter and all the evil, satanic movies and TV shows that are infiltrating our culture.

Yes, I have made a firm stand against alcohol....of every kind.

Yes, I have stood strongly against divorce and divorce and remarriage.

Premarital sex, living together, secular and ungodly music, R-rated movies, proms and other dances, polluted Bibles - yes, I've stood against a lot. I have, since I was young, been passionate about truth and desperate for others to see and embrace truth. Sometimes my words have comes across harsh. Sometimes they have not. Sometimes I have been a trumpet (Isaiah 58:1) and have sounded loud. Other times, I have tried to speak gently, almost begging for the listeners and readers to please walk in the light of truth.

This post is not going to be a pity party because I don't regret one stand I have taken in my life. Of course, there are a few times when I could have been a little more gentle and I regret that I wasn't, but not once do I wish that I had never taken "this" stand or "that" stand. Not once. But as I said, I'm human, people. I get weary in well-doing even though Paul encouraged us not to. I get angry and hurt when people treat me wrong even though the whole world hates Christ and His love never changes. I'll say it again: I'm human. I get tired of the messages in my inbox telling me how wrong I am for choosing God's way. I get tired of the comments that go against Biblical truth. I get tired of the hateful remarks against me, personally, and against my family. I get irritated. I get burdened. I even feel sorry for myself every now and then. I struggle with feelings and emotions, same as you.

I felt the need to write and clear the air. A lot of people think I'm a goody-goody who thinks she's right all the time. A lot of people think I'm hateful, judgemental, and unloving when I "tell it like it is." They forget about the many times I write about the amazing love of God. They forget about the good stuff. But the hard issues find my inbox full of prosecution. So, may I please take the stand? I'm embarrassed to even defend myself because Jesus never did. So I won't. I'll just humbly say this:

I love Jesus. I want it to show. What His whole Word says, I want to repeat and I want to live it out. I would like company walking the narrow road, but it's okay if I don't have it. But before you label me as "one of them" and condemn me for giving my utmost and my best and my all, please remember that I'm human too. Just like you.

I Like the Color Grey

We are lukewarm people. I mean really. We live in a world where we hate being hot and we hate being cold. We want to be "warm" and "cool." You know, keep the thermostat at a comfortable 70 degrees.

We are no different spiritually. In fact, we are worse.

Let's get honest. We don't enjoy cold. We don't want to be far from God or out of His will. I mean, we're good people, right? We want Him happy with us. That's why we go to Church and try to be nice and decent people that loves and accepts everybody. We don't like being on His bad side. I mean, He's God, right? It helps to be on His good side.

On the flip side, we really don't want to be hot. I mean, who wants to be tagged as radical and old fashioned? Who wants to be a one-way-only person? We don't enjoy being extreme in our faith. We don't like making choices that force us to walk alone or that label us as intolerant. I mean, come on, let's bend a bit! Let's not be so tough, right?

Black and white aren't the only options! There's grey. That's a good, safe, comfortable color.

Living in grey makes it easy on us. It feels better. It's easy to snuggle up with. It doesn't burn us like the heat or freeze us like the cold. We can love like Jesus without adding judgement. We can make good choices without going overboard. We can be moral without the need to be holy. We can be good without having to be Godly. Grey makes it simple to please God and man.....right?

Wrong.

It bothers me that we not only live in a lukewarm mentality, we ENJOY it. Tell me, when did we forget that we serve a God who is a "black and white" God? When did we forget that there is no grey area? It's either His way or man's way. When did we forget that He is a God of absolutes. There's is no "Well, this is right, for ME." No. It's either His truth or no truth.

We don't like that. We would rather compromise. We would rather stay in our comfortable box of grey. You know, muddy the waters a bit. It won't hurt, right?

Wrong again.

Our testimony is smudged with every yielding to self and every slight bow to the world. The music we listen to and support, the movies we watch and spend money on, the TV shows we fill our homes and minds with, the clothes we choose to wear, the drinks and other consumptions we pursue and justify, the lifestyles and anti-God choices we accept and allow, the holidays we rationalize, and the places we go to - it's all a reflection of the color we have chosen to live in. Our God demands that we get off the fense. Either we live in black or we live in white. Either we become hot or cold.

And so I ask you..... are you black and white? Or do you grey?
   

Revelation 3:14-19
And unto the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write; These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God; I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.

Childlike Faith

Tonight, I was reminded of a story in my old devotional. It was exactly what I needed to read. Let me share it with you:

This little story is about a little boy whose grandmother promised him a stamp album for Christmas. The little boy was so excited! Christmas came....with no word from grandma...and no stamp album. After Christmas passed, the little boy was proudly naming all his presents to his playmates. Then to his mother's astonishment, he said, "And I got a stamp album from my grandma!"

She mentioned it to him saying, "Georgie, you did not get a stamp album. Why did you say you did?"

He simply replied, "Well, Mamma, grandma said, so it is the same as." What faith!

Days passed and still no word from grandma came. The mother told the little boy that it looked like his grandma had forgotten her promise. The boy replied, "Oh no, Momma. She hasn't." Then a few minutes passed and he said, "Do you think it would do any good if I should write to her thanking her for the album?" She said he could give it a try. So a letter was sent. In a short time, a letter came for Georgie which said, My dear Georgie, I have not forgotten my promise to you, of an album. I tried to get such a book as you desired, but could not get the kind you wanted; so I sent on to New York. It did not get here until after Christmas, and it was still not right, so I sent for another, and as it has not come yet, I send you three dollars to get one in Chicago. Your loving grandma.

As he read the letter, he face lit up and he said, "Now, Momma, didn't I tell you?"

The end of the devotional left this profound statement - It is so human to want sight when we step out on the promises of God, but our Savior said to Thomas, and to the long roll of doubters who have ever since followed him: "Blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believe."

Mark 11:24 -
"...What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them."

Reaching for You

Nathan has a new thing. He reaches. A lot.

When he wants a toy, he reaches for it. When he sees the shiny necklace I wear, he reaches out to snatch it
(because, of course, he wants to eat it!). When someone comes up and says, "Well, hello you little cutie!" he grins and reaches out his arm towards them. So sweet.

My personal favorite is when I am lying down next to him, or holding him up in my lap and talking to him, and he reaches out and touches my face. Some of our sweetest moments have been when we have caught each others' eyes and he reaches out to me, wanting to touch my cheeks, my eyes, my lips, my nose. Yesterday afternoon, I was lying down next to him as we were **trying** to take a nap. For some reason, as tired as he was, he was just too keyed up to sleep knowing Mommy was right there beside him. He would turn to me and reach out his little hand and touch my shoulder. Then he would coo and gurgle, and stretch his arm out to reach my face. I would look at him and he would give me his cute little smile. As I laid there, part of me wishing he would go...to....sleep so I could take a nap too, and the other part of me hoping he never, ever quits, I began to wonder if I do the same to my Lord.

When I feel His presence, do I get all excited, unable to sleep or do my own thing?


When He is right beside me, do I reach out to Him? Just to touch Him?

Of course, I WANT Him near me. Yes, I WANT His presence....but do I REACH for Him? Do I reach out my hands in His direction, stretching with all my might to reach Him? To touch a part of Him?

Motherhood can bring so much joy, but sometimes motherhood is convicting. I see my baby adoring me, giggling when I talk to him, opening his mouth to eat my finger or lick my face, following me with his eyes as I walk past him, and holding out his hand to touch me. I see my boy do that to me....and I'm human. I'll let him down in life. I will fail. Yet my God never fails. My Father will never let me down. And gracious, if I am His child, should I not reach, with all that is in me, for Him?

Jesus Paid It All

 

I hear the Savior say,

“Thy strength indeed is small;

Child of weakness, watch and pray,

Find in Me thine all in all.”
          
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.


For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim;
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.
             
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
          
Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.
              
Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.
              
And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,
All down at Jesus’ feet.