Thursday, March 11, 2010

Am I Willing Enough?

You might say that lately I have been reevaluating, and soul searching; searching myself and my heart. Inner housecleaning, for lack of a better word. Things that should not be there need to be removed. I have been looking at everything in my life and asking myself if such-and-such is worth it, if "this" or "that" is important, etc.

Is this attitude of mine damaging my testimony or is this friendship Christ-centered?

If not, how can it be? What can I do for this person to spur them on to Godliness?

Is "this" desire MY desire for myself or GOD's desire for me? Is this hurting or distracting me away from my relationship with the Lord? Does this take too much of my time?

Am I compromising? Am I slipping into a mediocre version of Christianity that I, myself, have created?

Is my life built around Christ or am I trying to just fit Christ into my life? How far am I willing to go to be all the Lord wants of me?

Question after question....and it has brought me to here. :) A time of inner cleansing and thinking of how much more time I can spend growing in Christ, and of how much more I can do for the Kingdom of God. This poem, that I wrote a few years ago, has been on my heart for the past two days now. Since I am currently at a state of "questioning and soul searching" I have to say that this poem says what I'm at a loss for words to say, and the words below capture many of the questions, that we all need to ask ourselves every day.

Am I willing enough to serve my Lord
Though I may serve alone?
To choose the path of Christ
Forsaking all that I have known?

Am I reluctant to follow His words?
Am I ashamed to live as He?
Or have I chosen to be steadfast
And be all He desires of me?

Do I have within a faithful spirit -
One that believes with little doubt?
Will I blindly walk by faith,
No matter what may come about?

Do I posses a servant's heart
Or do I seek glory or fame?
Is my mind fastened upon God alone
Or set on some worldly aim?

Do my actions, thoughts, and deeds
Reflect what He has placed inside?
Am I living a life that is set apart
Or one that is ruled by pride?

Am I a vessel God can use
To do with as He sees fit?
Or do I run and reject His call?
Do I refuse to yield and submit?

Am I willing enough to serve my Lord?
Am I bold enough to be
That which my Eternal God
Desires of me?

© Kristen Lisemby 2005

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